Particularly for Parents

Mourner's Bill of Rights

By Jan Borgman

For Parents and Family Members

I have the right to be sad and to cry without worrying with others think.

I have the right to choose whom I will talk to about my grief. It is not my fault if the feelings of others are hurt because of my choice.

I have the right to make decisions for myself. My grief doesn't mean that I don't want to be involved.

I have the right to mourn the loss in my own way, even if it is different from others.

I have the right to be angry, as long as I'm not hurting others or myself, because my loved one has died. My anger is part of the grieving process.

I have the right to get outside help for myself. Sometimes I need to talk with someone who is not involved with my grief.

I have the right to take care of myself and to find ways that help me cope with my grief.

I have the right to enjoy my life without feeling guilty.

For Children

I have the right to be sad and try cry, even if other people think I shouldn't.

I have the right to be told what is going on in words that I can understand. I need to know about the death in simple words.

I have the right to make some decisions for myself. Just because I'm a child who is grieving doesn't mean that I can't be involved with some of the decisions that affect me or my family.

I have a right to be angry because of the death of my loved on. My anger is part of my grief.

I have the right to ask for help even if it means talking to other family members, teachers or other adults who can help me. Sometimes I need to talk with someone who is not as involved with my grief.

I have the right to be a child. I need to laugh and to play and to be with my friends without feeling guilty.

Reprinted with permission from Grief Digest, Centering Corporation, Omaha, Nebraska, 402-553-1200. Grief Digest, Volume 8, Issue #2 (October 2010)